Yesterdayoff.

Didn't run yesterday, which was planned. I've only been running 17-18 miles per week, so I want to return to training slowly and make this an easy week. Even with three miles a day four times this week and a long run of six or seven miles again next Sunday, I'll be at that amount again, but I figure knocking a half mile or so from each day's run will be adequate to ensure that I'm ready to go six or seven next Sunday.

One thing I've never really done in the past is allow myself easy weeks. I was so frustrated with the amount of mileage I could handle -- usually in the low- to mid-thirties -- I never allowed myself to step down from that amount to something even lower so that I might recover and be able to subsequently increase my mileage. Instead, because I had run over fifty miles per week consistently in the ever increasingly distant past, I theorized that I should easily be able to handle 35 mile a week without a problem. What ended up happening was that I was forever running in a funk of tired legs that never really got any better. Add in the fact that I didn't take any steps to lose weight and that I would often miss three or four consecutive days of running every couple of weeks and it becomes clear why I could never progress.

I just have to accept that this is what I'm capable of at this point and that in the months to come, as I lose weight and stay consistent, my fitness will gradually improve (as it already has) and I'll reach a point where I can do some real running and racing once again.

So, I'm back at it. After running inconsistently and infrequently for months because of a stubborn foot injury I sustained while stupidly trying to break thirteen seconds for one-hundred meters, I've finally put together a couple of weeks of daily running. My weight is probably over 175 and my long run today was only six miles, but it's a huge improvement over a few weeks ago when I couldn't even run thirty minutes straight. I'm going to be starting grad school in a little less than a month, so I don't know how consistent I'll be able to be once that starts, but I'm going to try to keep going as close to every day as I can.

My goal, at this point, is to be able to run under seventeen minutes for 5k by this time next year. That's been a goal of mine for years but, frankly, I've lacked the discipline to train consistently enough and avoid overeating and overdrinking to get anywhere near it. The last time I ran under seventeen minutes was in 1999, I think. The next closest I came was running 17:57 in 2002. In 2004 (I think), I ran 18:42. Last year I ran 19:08.

I would agree that it appears that I've been heading in the wrong direction and I know this is going to sound like an excuse, but I just haven't been trying very hard. That's actually the story of my life when it comes to both running and writing. But I'm 33 now and I realize I don't have years and years to do things I've been telling myself for years and years that I have years and years to do. As far as running is concerned, I am rapidly running out of time to get back to where I once was.

I am tempted to delete all this so that I don't have to eat my own words a year from now when I run some 5k in twenty minutes, but since no one is reading this anyway, what the hell.